State Appoiinted Guardians

I recently began tutoring a young man who was born with cerebral palsy. At 20 years old, he took some time out from school, is back, and I am tutoring him for his last year of high school. As mentioned in a previous blog, Ethan uses ECOT- Electronic Classroom of Tomorrow- which is frankly one of the absolute worst ways I've seen for students to actually learn and maintain information. But I am focusing now on this young man's life.
Complications during birth caused Ethan to be born with cerebral palsy. He is forever in a wheelchair, has no use of his legs or right arm and has difficulty speaking. After he was born, it was determined that this birth defect was a result of negligence and malpractice on part of the local hospital- Athens, Ohio's Obleness Memorial Hospital. Ethan and his family won a multimillion dollar resulting case. Needless to say. Ethan is financially secure for the rest of his life.
With the money, Ethan's parents purchased a home, littered with expenses- kitchen appliances, stereos, cars- all the workings for a lavish lifestyle. Unfortunately, his parents were interested in themselves. Both parents went to prison for stealing Ethan's money. His mother was even jailed for stealing and trying to pawn the house's oven and range.
For those who are unaware, stealing from a disabled person is a felony, and Ethan's mother and father are on a national list as offenders.
At the time of all this, Ethan was only 16, so when his parent's were jailed, Ethan was in need of a legal guardian- someone to handle this multimillion dollar trust and make sure he was taken care of. He requires an aid daily to fix him meals, clean his home and give him baths.
Ethan was assigned a legal guardian thanks to the great state of Ohio. This guardian is located 50 miles away and also serves as the guardian to over 13 other kids in different situations. If there were ever a case of abuse, this is it.
After being in Ethan's life for over 3 months now, it is apparent that this guardian is neglectful and careless toward Ethan. She quite literally has not returned his phone calls in 8 weeks, no matter how many messages he leaves with her secretary. Ethan would like to purchase a digital camera for Christmas, to take pictures of his friends and family around the holidays- he even emailed his guardian the exact one. It has been 6 weeks and nothing so much as a response has been heard. This guardian sold his home, moved him to a retirement home for 3 months (at the tender age of 20) and gives him absolutely no access to any of his multimillion dollar trust. He lives day to day- rent included- off of his food stamps and monthly SSI check.
There is a laundry list of acts of negligence by this guardian and it is quite simply abuse toward a disabled person. The State of Ohio needs to do an evaluation of her business practices and the trust, because this is the lowest, most irresponsible form of neglect there is.

International Travel in the USA- The TSA

Here you are, around the holidays, planning your winter vacation during holiday break. Desiring warm weather, tropical beaches and exotic men (or women), you log onto such websites as Priceline, Orbitz and Travelocity for the best travel deal. You buy that discounted swimsuit because really, who else is buying a new bikini in the dead of winter but vacationers? You get your passport up to date, pay last minute bills, check with your credit card company and pack your bag to travel internationally. That is where the excitement stops.
Upon arrival at the airport, you are hassled, harassed and treated like a 3rd class citizen in your own country by a TSA worker with the IQ of a 9 year old and an overgrown ego. Your carefully packed bag gets haphazardly tossed onto a moving ramp to hopefully end up where you do.
Here comes the fun part: security. Forced to undress down to almost our underwear, we are forced to proceed as cattle- guilty cattle. Barefoot and now totally stressed out, we are forced to walk through metal detectors with our toes touching all sorts of disease that hasn't been cleaned off the floor for months. The TSA doesn't concern itself with comfort or respect for others. Make sure your liquids are less than 3 ounces and zipped up in a bag! This government encourages being green but insists you buy all new travel-sized mouthwashes and shampoo. We all know you can't blow up an airplane with a 3 ounce bottle of Pantene Pro-V, but who knows what the 20 ounce is capable of?!
You're through security after having to show your passport more times than fathomably necessary and you're onto your gate. Chances are, you have to wait for whatever delay the airport decides is trendy at the moment, so don't take your sleeping pill too early.
Finally, hop on your plane and go. The vacation is what you looked forward to this whole time, right? I mean, you didn't skip dessert for the past two weeks for nothing!
Time to come home. Hopefully freshly tanned, be prepared for one of the most degrading and stressful situations any human has to deal with- United States Customs Authorities. Get off the plane and be immediately shuffled into a line longer than any you'd see at a crowded amusement park and be prepared to wait. Forget jet-lag, the asshole TSA associates will make you even sicker.
You get up to the desk and are immediately incriminated as a menace to your own country. "Why did you leave? What are you coming back with? Where EXACTLY did you go? What was the reason for this alleged 'vacation' ?" This is only the beginning. You'll pass the first TSA troll to finally pick up your checked bag, thankful to be free to simply go home. Oh, but the TSA won't make it that easy on you.
"Step over here" says the toothless hillbilly in a uniform who was unexplainably given some sort of power.
Gloves go on, and the zipper of the bag comes off. All of a sudden, you're standing in the middle of a crowd of strangers, explaining to a TSA authority that it really is sand on you bathing suit. And yes, that is your underwear. I understand my bra was expensive, but I promise you it is no risk to national security.
This whole process takes an added hour, so hope those who are picking you up know the drill.
I've traveled to many other countries, and I have never been so interrogated as I was coming back into my own. The United States makes a legal citizen- simply arriving back home from a vacation- feel like a felon. What happened to "innocent until proven guilty?". What happened to our fifth amendment Constitutional right to own private property? My bottle of shampoo poses no risk to this country, there's no need to confiscate it for "national security reasons".
TSA authorities are amongst the worst people in the world, and since so many worldwide have to deal with them, I imagine the feeling transcends national borders. The United States of America makes it unnecessarily difficult to travel to other countries, probably because people will realize, "Wow, America is certainly not the greatest nation in the world". If the toothless hillbilly was given power over a woman with a Master's Degree, the man with a Ph.D in psycholinguistics and the World War II veteran, what kind of nation is this?
I had it easy- I was carrying an American Passport. One can only imagine how difficult it must be for someone with an Iranian passport, a Saudi Arabian one, or essentially anywhere in the middle east.
So travelers looking to get out to sunnier pastures this season, do yourself a favor and just stay there. The trek back isn't worth it.

So as a progressive member of today's youth, I find that I am one of many to say "no" to cable television. This is because of course there are 500 channels on digital cable today of which I am familiar with about 12, and the chances of something worth while being on is close to 0%. So why would I pay $50 a month to find that out?
But I do believe that the one thing anyone familiar with television can agree on, is that the most annoying aspect about watching television today is... commercials. The good shows don't have them, like programs on HBO or Shotime. But these broadcasts are not completely devoid of ads at all, but rely more on a (sometimes) subtle product placement- far preferable to a 45 second ad for hemmorhoid creme.
Back on the subject of the television rebellion, I opt against cable but I do maintain a strong, quick internet connection to watch whatever my heart desires, my choice and commercial free. Almost.
While attempting to watch the newest "Dexter" I ran into the problem that my browser was not loading fast enough. I would wait and wait and only be able to watch about 30 seconds at a time before having to stop and reload. This didn't bother me so much (I was making dinner at the time, and able to focus on something other than the loading screen), but what got to me were the apparantly impossible-to-escape commercials. Not just that these commercials were present, but the fact that they were completely loaded and ready to play perfectly in an instant, while the show I actually wanted to watch took about 45 minutes. So this episode of South Park is taking forever, but that ad for Mitsubishi was fast and loaded immediately?! How they do it, I don't know, but for future reference, Hulu and TV-Dome, contact Trojan condoms to see what kind of connection they're using, because they are blowing you out of the water.
Well I don't, but I do make sure I have a strong and fast internet connection at all time.

Get me to Cali

As a girl who was born and raised in Ohio, I have the typical dream of moving to California. For years I have dreamt of the sun, the sand and the liberal environment of the west coast- not to mention the style! But everyday, that dream seems just a little harder to get to. Not only are the unemployment rates in California higher than anywhere else in the country, the cost of living is too.
Having just graduated from undergrad, I thought that the most logical way to ease myself into the west coast would be to start graduate studies somewhere. I took the LSATS with the intention of going to law school in Cali. Unfortunately, the economy rears it's ugly head yet again by offering no financial aid to students in the state of California. So I thought of attending a career school- cosmetology or massage therapy- and ran into the same problem. The state of California has no money, no jobs and no room for outsiders. This isn't even considering mass wildfires, intense debt and earthquakes.
Not only that, but a recent article published on OrganizedWisdom.com rates California as having 6 or the top 10 most polluted cities in the country. So the state is broke, dirty and still a million times more desirable than Ohio. I post this blog as a jumping off point. Perhaps I will keep up with the status on moving to California with no money and few connections. Anyone with any tips?

ECOT- Electronic Classroom of Terror

For those who keep up with my blog, I am not a big fan of much of the new technology that has surfaced in the past decade. At the tender age of 22, I the generation of the internet, the hybrid car and on-demand porn. All these things are fine and wonderful, and to each his own. But when it comes to achieving a proper education, let's keep the internet to Wikipedia and YouTube references only.
Case in point- ECOT, the Electronic Classroom of Tomorrow. This is an online school for kids in high school that conducts online lessons for math, english, science, social studies and even phys ed. Now I earned my high school diploma the normal way- you know, the shitty one. Waking up at 7 am to get a parking spot, showing up late for government and sleeping in study hall like everyone else. I learned calculus on the chalkboard, being able to raise my hand and ask direct questions as often as I wanted (which was basically never). The point being- I had the option to learn and ask questions the way people are supposed to- in reality.
ECOT in entirely online. Page after page of lessons are expected to teach students everything from social justice to trigonometry. If a student has a question, they send an email to their teacher and hope for a response back in enough time to complete the assignment. If something goes misunderstood, just read the webpage again, of course!
I am passionately against ECOT. I currently tutor a young high school boy with cerebral palsy, who though working at home would be better. If it weren't for me being there- as in someone who has learned this stuff already- it would be nearly impossible to understand the lessons. Not for the reason that his disability would hinder him, but quite literally, it is impossible to learn trigonometry by reading words on a screen. Subjects need specific instructions, and necessary one on one time. Teachers log on once a day and hopefully have time to respond to the inevitable barrage of questions weighing down their mailbox. If a student doesn't understand, he or she is quite literally shit out of luck.
It sounds like every student's dream- working from home, not having to even change out of pajamas. But the learning process isn't there. ECOT is a half-ass attempt at teaching students, and in all cases, require a teacher or tutor there and handy to assist.

Holiday Cookie Parties

There is a powerful demographic of women out there to market products, services and ideas toward, that very often get overshadowed by the teeny bopper crowd and college kids. And this market is the "married-suburban-working-mother-whose-kids-have-grown-and-moved-out". These women have style, money, endless options for where to lunch and practically expendable husbands. They drive the trendiest of sporty SUVs, get manicures, carry Blackberries, and talk to their kids via Skype because they are living in Thailand or Australia. Yes, these are the suburban equivalent of "Ladies who Lunch".
A new trend has emerged within this group that rolls around once a year- the Holiday Cookie Exchange Party. Dozens of these moms spend a weekend baking cookies to exchange with their girlfriends. Each woman makes 1/2 dozen cookies per guest, and leaves with the same number of cookies with which they came. Only when they leave, they are toting the recipes and samples of everyone else.
It is a cute idea, something else to occupy the time of the silver-year-fabulous woman. To the point, my mother is Shaker Heights' hottest hostess. For the past 4 years, the budget of the party has risen from a modest $500 to a tight $1200. It is an occasion to look forward to- even the custom printed invitations were a cool $100. Finger sandwiches, tastefully non-Christmas oriented holiday decor and jazzy Frank Sinatra grace the cranberry-pecan scented living room, while the woman chat away about their kids, husbands and all the small chatterly gossip.
This friendly gathering, no matter how neighborly, always seems to have an underlying competition, in that the guest compare their recipes for who has "the best". There is no prize, no winner...per se. But there's always that one person who has the best cookies. This year, it's gonna be me. Thank you especially to "Every Last Cookie" blog, also featured on this website, for this delectable recipe. I will be sure to win with these babies.

8 Technological Advances we can do without

It is undeniable that certain advances in technology have bettered us as a human race. Modern medicine, environmentally friendly automobiles and the internet (sometimes) are feats well accomplished and properly enjoyed. But there are certain items we can do without, and I have compiled a top ten list

1) Automated Telephone Operators
We've all been there. An unknown charge on our credit card, a discrepancy with an insurance company, an electric bill lost in the mail. There are situations where it is absolutely necessary to talk to an actual human being. Unfortunately today, we are forced to not only communicate with an automated machine, but we are also forced to turn ourselves into a number, be it our account number, SSN or what have you. As consumers- and simply human beings, we deserve real person-to-person conversation.

2)Terrorist Color Coding
As a mere 22 year old woman, I myself remember a time where I could carry my bottle of water onto the plane and *gasp*, keep my shoes ON during the security checkpoint. Now, I face long checking lines, random screenings and all sorts of unmopped gunk on the floor of the airport touching my bare feet because the "Terrorist Alert Level" is code orange. If anyone knows what determines these colors, please let me know. 9/11 scared the hell out of many, but the process of air travel since is something equally horrific.

3) Twitter
Come on, at least facebook and myspace give you a little more than just constant updates on the pasttimes of random strangers. For a more in depth critique, check out Damon Darlin's "Technology doesn't dumb us down. It frees our minds", from the New York Times.

4) Wireless Keyboard and Mouse (Mice)?
It is certainly a luxury to sit anywhere in you living room and be able to check email, facebook or what have you. Comfortable in your lounge chair, organizing your iTunes without a care in the world- sounds heavenly and indulgent. Until both your mouse and keyboard run out of their required AA batteries and force you to make a quick run to CVS. Just ditch them for the original computer chair and desk, or be prepared for this bi-monthly.

5) Guitar Hero
I will localize more than simply bashing all videogames, which of course we all know are fairly useless. But whoever started the rumor that Guitar Hero "really does make you good at playing music" is grossly misinformed. Hours spent attempting to imitate favorite rock songs is one thing, but believing it will improve your status as an aspiring rock star? Sad.



6) Daytime Broadcast Television
There is a serious problem with the world when even the biggest douchebaggington can land his/her own mind-numbing talk show. Steve Wilkos is living, breathing proof that we've become too frivilous with what we put on our television stations. I can find no reason why stories of children with 19 possible fathers should have their stories broadcast nationally.



7) The Tootsie Tanner
This is one of the most absurd products I've ever seen, and I've seen alot. Not surprisingly, I discovered it in SkyMall Magazine, which may as well be called "Completely Useless Shit Monthly". If you want to tan your feet and absolutely nothing else, this is the product for you. $200 can guarantee no more embarassing sock tan lines!



8)Handerpants
Finally! Underpants for your hands! How did primitive human beings survive without this wonderful breakthrough in accessory technology?! No more chafing! They keep your hands and gloves clean after even the toughest jobs. I wonder how they hold up to skidmarks...
*YES THIS PRODUCT IS ACTUALLY REAL*

In response to my favorite US city opening America's First Marijuana Coffee Shop, I give you this lovely "Wake and Bake" photo, courtesy of "HailMaryJane.com". Yes, fellow Ameri-stoners, it's true. Portland, Oregon has gone the way of Amsterdam and finally opened a legal coffeeshop. For anyone who has ever visited the land of the wooden shoes, "coffeeshop" is synonymous with "buy and smoke weed here while you eat pancakes" .
It was truly an experience walking into my first Amsterdam coffeeshop and ordering a pear nectar and a gram of AK-47. No better way to start the day. After total culture shock relinquished, I was free to enjoy all the different- and totally legal strains from across the globe. Thai, Jamaican, Indonesian, Afghani, you name it. All colors of the rainbow. Space Cake for 6 euro containing enough THC to knock out even the most experienced stoner, and the restaurant style setting allowed for the munchies to set in and be satisfied all in one sitting.
I hereby welcome this lifestyle and business establishment to America, and I guarantee open arms from many. Way to go Oregon!Having been a resident of Portland myself, it comes as no surpise that they were first to jump on the idea (lost your chance, San Fran!). Although the utopian environment of total legal marijuana is ideal, America still restricts usage for medical purposes only- which is of course still completely wonderful. Hopefully one day some genius business owner with power in Washington demolishes all marijuana legislation, so the plant can take its proper place- everywhere.

There's no such thing as Space Money, amigos

According to every news outlet on planet Earth currently, NASA has made an astonishing discovery. There was just recently found what is said to be "significant amounts of water" on our moon. For decades us Earthlings have pondered about not just the moon's significance but what that moon could do for us. After the landings in the late 20th century, we stopped caring and moved onto more important things- celebrity news and sex tapes. But now we've explored deeper into our luna and found that in fact, there might be more that can be taken. Offering not heat, light or warmth like the sun, that good-for-nothing moon's been us there mocking us for millenia, it's time it contributes something to society.

Well now that moon has finally paid up, by offering some water. CNN aired an interview this week with Jim Garvin of NASA, who confirmed that yes, there is up to 60 gallons of water on the its freeloading surface- in frozen form of course . This is comparable to "the driest of deserts on the Earth".
The LCROSS impact brought back thoughts not just of aquatic oasis' on the moon, but also the obvious reaction: who cares? What good is that to us people who barely even have time to admire it's beauty? $79 million dollars seems like a small budget for a space exploration project, and in reality it is. It was deemed one of the least expensive space projects in history. But the gain is not worth it. There is nothing that the moon can offer us except a series of tides and an alluring glow at 3 am. Sure it's interesting dinner table talk, but really, the information could be done without. Use that rocket science to figure out a way to prevent the freshwater shortage on Earth. Or how to feed the roughly billions malnourished people in the world. It's like playing with the world's most expensive legos for a living, making a model airplane. It's fun, it's fluff, it's whipped cream. This is no economy for whipped cream.
Similar questions were answered in the CNN interview, simply "What do we care?". With no regard to the smirk that implied "Nothing, I guess", there was talk of more scientific theory in textbooks. There's nothing wrong with knowledge, but space exploration is too lavish a luxury to be throwing money into. It's a blackhole. In order to discover a usefulness to be put to work, billions of dollars more must be invested. Let's just concentrate on our planet. It's a slap in the face to those who can't pay their bills, own a car, or find a decent job that they're money is somehow being contributed to finding 60 gallons of water on the moon- the most frivilous knowledge available.
I am certainly not bashing scientific discovery- it is the most useful of information available on planet Earth; let's just leave the moon out of it. Prioritize people! It isn't rocket science!