Encouraged ignorance

A colleague of mine brought a certain article to my attention earlier today that I am simplied speechless over. Well, at least was. Now I've grappled with it and can verbalize my absolute disgust. An elementary school in Menifee, California actually came up with the idea of banning dictionaries from school classrooms. Yes, and institute of education has made the conscious decision to stop the learning right when unknown words come about.
This controversy started over a couple of playful 9-year-olds who expressed curiosity over the term "oral sex". After discovering the definition, they did what any other kid with that information would do- tell absolutely everyone they know. So eventually, the teacher found out, an uproar occurred and "Merriam-Webster" was no longer a classroom name.
There is really no point in laying out all the reasons that this extreme solution was an incorrect one. Students will never be able to look up new words or even ones they come across everyday and are just not sure the definition. Nouns, adjectives, verbs all mesh together into indecipherable jibberish, with a serious lack of vocabulary. Kids shouldn't be allowed, let alone encouraged to learn on their own terms!
So how long is long enough before these prepubescent brats get their dictionaries back? I suppose it doesn't matter. After all, if you can't look up "oral sex" in a dictionary, just wait until after school when the kids sit at dad's computer and look up "oral sex" on the internet. I'm sure Google can provide a much more vivid image than Merriam-Webster ever could.

It just gets easier and easier

Not unlike millions of other consumers, I love Amazon.com. I can find anything and everything I ever wanted, or didn't know I wanted or didn't even know existed at the click of my mouse. Food, clothing, books, electronics, we all know that amazon's got it. For me, I love the camping stuff. They sold me my first air mattress- how could I not fall in love?
I, also not unlike millions of others, have a rather strong spending addiction. I want exactly what it is I don't have, and I usually have just about everything. Because of future plans, I decided I needed to stop buying so much shit. I have done so successfully, although not without falling back into old habits. But I did, however determine that since my consumption has decreased significantly, I would do the unimaginable- save my credit card information on a retailer's website. After a brief contemplation between websites including Top Shop, Etsy and others, I declared that there is no other website worthy of having my info. Amazon, you had me at "Here are some suggestions for you". Ahhh.
So assuming that I was on top of the shoppers wagon, I programmed in my payment information, ready to shop readily- and responsibly- on my favorite page. That was until I noticed something only a few scrolls down.
What I saw shocked and appalled me. Well, not really but it was certainly worth a second glance. Apparently programming your information into one website is SO LAST YEAR! Now, consumers can choose a convenient "Payphrase" which not only eliminates credit card typing at all, but encourages spending more than a sample sale. This phenomenon of "payphrases" allow the consumer to pick a catch phrase (for me, Amazon recommended "Em's Glorious Consciousness) that can be used not only on the one website, but thousands of others across the web. By simply typing in your personal "Payphrase", that validates you identity, your bank account and your money. How simple?!
For anyone who has been hidden under a rock for the past 8 years, identity theft couldn't be higher. It goes without saying that it is certainly easier for a hacker to catch onto a "payphrase" to make purchases than to go through all that trouble to find credit cards numbers, etc.
I think my "payphrase" will be "Account overdrawn, acceptance denied".

Hair vs. Chin

**My apologies for being MIA this past month- work and babies can be a life-consuming combination....***

NBC announced on Tuesday, January 12 that after only 7 months of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien", the network will be giving the spot back to Jay Leno. The 60 year old chin was given a 10:30 slot on NBC as an olive branch for being replaced by the much younger- and much funnier- hair. This battle of hair vs. chin will only continue, since it was also announced that Conan was robbed completely of any slot on NBC late night, and the schedule will go strsight from Jay to Jimmy! And as NBC has so clearly pointed out to us, double Js can't be beat.
To add insult to injury, Conan is stuck in a multi-year contract with NBC, preventing him from working for another network until, well, the NBC gods allow it. So I can't help but ask the question- Why won't Jay Leno just go away? What kind of 60 year old millionaire would publicly and pompously demand back his job after being rightfully replaced? I liked Jay Leno up until I turned 12, strayed from my over-the-hill-parents, and developed a sense of humor. To put it plainly, Conan O'Brien is a funnier comedian than Jay Leno, and coupled with Andy Richter, they make a view worthy team. He appeals to a much younger, hipper audience, something that Leno is lacking entirely. No one between the ages of 12 and 55 can honestly say they're not ready for Leno to be booted.
Regardless, NBC's desperate attempt to leave fourth place standing managed to piss off Conan to the point that he began addressing the "People of Earth" to say he'd rather work with classier people-like those in hard core porn (paraphrase of course).
Just give Conan a high profile lawyer to get him an hour-long show on a premium cable network (Showtime, HBO, wink wink) and give him the budget to conduct any obscenity he wishes. The chin can stick to played out Headlines for senior citizens.